function number(x) { if (x==1) return "one"; if (x==2) return "two"; if (x==3) return "three"; if (x==4) return "four"; if (x==5) return "five"; if (x==6) return "six"; if (x==7) return "seven"; if (x==8) return "eight"; if (x==9) return "nine"; if (x==10) return "ten"; if (x==11) return "eleven"; if (x==12) return "twelve"; return x; //default } function ishtime(h,m) { h = number(h) if (m<=3 || m>57) return h+" o'clock"; if (m<=7) return "five past "+h; if (m<=12) return "ten past "+h; if (m<=17) return "quarter past "+h; if (m<=23) return "twenty past "+h; if (m<=28) return "twenty-five past "+h; if (m<=33) return "half past "+h; if (m<=38) return "twenty-five to "+h; if (m<=43) return "twenty to "+h; if (m<=48) return "quarter to "+h; if (m<=53) return "ten to "+h; if (m<=58) return "five to "+h; return "h:m"; // never reached? } function daytime(h) { if (!h || h>21) return " tonight"; if (h<12) return " this morning"; if (h<=17) return " this afternoon"; return " this evening"; // default } function mealtime(h) { if (!h || h>=21 || h<3) return " a Late Snack"; if (h<9) return " Breakfast"; if (h<12) return " Brunch"; if (h<14) return " Lunch"; if (h<17) return " Tea"; if (h<19) return " Dinner"; if (h<21) return " Dessert"; return " Lunch"; // default } function ish(h,m) { if (!h && !m) { // if no time supplied, use the system time time = new Date() h = time.getHours() m = time.getMinutes() } z = daytime(h); mt = mealtime(h); h = h % 12 // fix to 12 hour clock if (m>57 && time.getSeconds()>30) m++; // round seconds if (m>60) m=0 // round up minutes if (m>33) h++ // round up hours if (h>12) h = 1 // the clock turns round... if (h==0) h = 12 return "You've arrived at "+ishtime(h,m)+z+". The Café is serving" +mt+"." } // End -->